Four years can seem like a long time, but also like a breath. And this is especially true when you’ve lost someone you love.
They say each year gets a little easier, and in some ways I can say it does. After four years, it’s started to become ‘normal’, meaning, it is what it is. Well, most of the time. Then every once in a while, I momentarily forget and have the urge to call him. I had one of those moments earlier this year when I was having trouble with my jumper cables in the rain, no less. It’s one of those moments that a girl needs her dad. God has placed many good father-like men in my life, for which I am so grateful… but as much as I love them, it’s just not quite the same.
But, like I was saying, it does seem to get easier with each passing year. I am thankful that the day was not as hard as I thought it might be. I had a minor moment in Bible study this morning when we were singing a song about God being the Father to the fatherless. But I held it together… I didn’t really want to become a sobbing mess only 10 minutes into our study. Plus, I wasn’t wearing cry-proof mascara. And I hate breaking down into one of those ugly cries in front of such a large group. Ugly cries are reserved for those select few who know me so well that I don’t mind if they see me fall to pieces.