I am not a morning person like a turtle is not an Olympic Medalist in the 100-meter dash. So I’ve compiled a little list of the reasons why I am not a morning person.
10. I’m a night owl. (Hoo Hoo!) This, by default, makes it impossible for me to be a morning person.
9. The sun is just too chipper in the morning, what with all it’s bright little rays dancing across the sky waking everything up.
8. Birds are also happy in the morning. The one outside my window sings its little heart out, even though it has the most ugly squawk ever. I’m ready to find something to throw at it.
7. It’s not natural to just jump out of bed and be *that* awake seconds after your eyes open. It’s just not natural, people!
6. My bed is too comfortable and begs me to stay in it for just a bit longer.
5. The air is cold outside of the cocoon of the covers. Being in bed is one of the few times I am warm (especially in the winter) – why would I want that to end too quickly??
4. I don’t drink coffee. I don’t like coffee. So I do not have that little boost to look forward to in the morning to help me become a morning person.
3. My brain takes a long time to “warm up” before it’s fully functional. It’s usually operating at full capacity by noon. No point in straining it by getting up too early.
2. The snooze button was created for a reason, so I intend to use it.
1. The sun is God’s alarm clock. It rises to wake everyone – even the roosters know that. Waking up before the alarm clock is just wrong.
On the rare occasion that I have to wake up early, don’t expect me to be fully functional, or fully cognizant – I can’t even form sentences until I’ve been awake for at least an hour or two. So be patient with me and eventually I’ll wake up.