Musings from a promise-collector

Bed Bug Buddy


Considering the horrors I endured that fateful evening, it should have been a dark and stormy night. But it wasn’t. It was a fall night like any other. I found myself engrossed in the plot of a good book until I realized how late it had gotten. I snapped the book shut, flicked off my reading light, and quickly did the mental math as I rolled over, calculating how many precious hours of sleep I could get if I fell asleep instantly.

Laying my right side, I snuggled down deep into my covers, pulling the blankets up around my face. I made every effort to become motionless, beckoning sleep to hurry to my heavy eyelids. And of course when you are trying not to move, that’s when a need arises; I felt a little ticklish itch in my left ear. Finally conceding that I would not sleep until I satisfied the itch, I responded to it with a quick twist of my pinky finger just inside my ear. Confident that this would solve the problem, I resumed my motionless wait for sleep to arrive.

But the itch didn’t go away.

I scratched again.

But to no relief.

So I scratched once more.

Finally, sighing, I got out of bed… knowing this was taking away precious minutes and seconds of sleep. I quickly padded barefoot through the dark to the bathroom and flicked on the light. Thinking that I must have a fuzzy stuck in my ear, I grabbed a Q-Tip in a last-ditch attempt to make the tickling-itch stop.

I think I audibly gasped at what I saw on the Q-Tip: a very tiny white spider hanging from the end by an invisible thread.

No, I am no kidding. I wish I was.

A spider.

A. SPI. DER. IN. MY. EAR!

Yeah, you could say I freaked out… if practically hyperventilating while doing a heebie-jeebie dance around the room constitutes as “freaking out”.

While I tried to wrap my mind around the fact that I had just found a bug… nay, a SPIDER… in my ear, my mind began to take off in a million directions. How did it get in there? How long had it been in there? Had it laid eggs? No, it was too small. *Gasp!* Did it HATCH in my ear? What if there were more? What if it bit me? Should I call my doctor? Maybe I should use another Q-Tip or ten just to make sure it didn’t have a buddy with it when it went exploring through my ear canal. There was a SPIDER in my ear! Oh my cow! How on earth would I sleep now?

After I let myself freak out for a few minutes, I knew it would be silly to wake anyone else in the house to tell of them that I was just assaulted by the tiniest spider known to man. And I realized that I didn’t want to call my doctor at 11pm since the spider was obviously too small to even bite, so I calmed myself down. I did, however, do a few more heebie-jeebie moves on my way back to bed.

It took a lot of convincing, but I finally believed the arguments I told myself that this was a one-time kind of thing, that there were no more spiders in my bed, and it was ok to sleep. But just to be sure, I went completely under the covers, just to make sure no more rogue spiders found their way into a carelessly exposed ear. Sleep did not come quickly that night.

It was only six months ago, but I have tried to block it from my memory (obviously being so traumatized by it), until I was reminded of it yesterday when I read the Garfield comic strip:

I can totally empathize with Jon. Poor guy.

Have you ever found a bug somewhere you wish you hadn’t? I’d love to hear about it! Tell me about it below in the comments!

 

*Note: I did talk to a doctor in church a few days later – he said as long as my ear was no longer itching or hurting I should be fine. And I am glad to report that I have not had baby spiders hatching out of my ear.

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Comments on: "Bed Bug Buddy" (3)

  1. Thanks for the laugh!…I watched it all play out in my mind…since there was much more detail than when you talked about it…the “dance”, the gasp…just as dramatic as the night the bat paid you a visit!!..haaaa…Love you 🙂

  2. i like the comic strip .. so funny 🙂
    garfield is so evil lol

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